20 years of marriage is called “Platinum.” Such an exquisite metal.
I went looking for what makes platinum so sought after.
According to Wikipedia,
Because of its scarcity in the earth’s crust, only a few hundred tonnes are produced annually, and is therefore highly valuable and is a major precious metal commodity.
Platinum is the least reactive metal. It has remarkable resistance to corrosion, even at high temperatures, and is therefore considered a noble metal.
20 years ago, I knew nothing of that noble metal.
I knew that I was 20 years old.
I knew that I didn’t know much about marriage, or even more, how to be a wife.
I’d watched my mom be my dad’s wife; love, care, respect, and serve. I didn’t know what it would look like for ME.
That summer forever changed my life!
I had to learn how to be in a new relationship. I was no longer a young man’s girlfriend.
I became his…for every day, for the rest of my life!
We immediately took “deal breaker” words off the table of our marriage. Those words, better described as attitudes, were divorce and separation.
Even at that, there was a LOT to learn. We just knew that those were not our default attitudes.
Reading the description of platinum: “remarkable resistance to corrosion, even at high temperatures.”
We’ve had “high temperature” moments that, even though they wouldn’t have caused divorce, they could have made living together crappy if we didn’t grab on to Christ.
For me, being introduced to the whole of Ephesians 5 and Romans 12:9-21 was what kept me from a resentment taking hold that I didn’t know was buried in my heart.
I had to get over myself and what I felt I deserved before I got married. I had my own plans, dreams, and desires. All of that was halted when I went from my daddy’s house to my husband’s house.
You see, we had a baby 6 weeks before we got married.
He wanted marriage more than I did.
It took me years to figure out that I was holding on to resentment. It took God sending women to mentor me before I could see that I wasn’t living out the Scripture in my marriage.
The summer of 1994 was the very one that started me chasing God.
I wanted to do what was right. I needed the tools and encouragement.
God has graciously inserted His hand into the middle of our covenant union.
We learned to search the Scripture, to cry out to Him, and to become obedient to what He said, no matter how much we didn’t like it. It always turns out to be for our benefit.
If your marriage didn’t start out the way you planned or thought it should, please know that there can be better days and joy. God’s Word, not girlfriends, well-meaning family, nor blogs, should always be the first resource for figuring things out. It is our living water and life!
I would love to hear your marriage story! What has God used to bring life into your marriage?