Do you ever wonder how to connect with your spouse in tough times?

Have you ever hit a spot in your marriage where nothing seems to go right?

Perhaps you’re never on the same page as your spouse. Or maybe the combination of kids, home, and work is overwhelming and there’s simply not time to connect with your spouse. Are there times when you’ve thought, “Marriage isn’t supposed to be like this”? So have I. How can you intentionally connect when you always seem to be on different pages?

How to Connect With Your Spouse in Tough Times

1. Remember What You Love About Your Spouse

When did you last take time to consider what originally drew you to your spouse? I know life is fast-paced, and often, my husband may be on his way in the door while I’m headed out to a meeting, or to run some errands. I’ve had some struggles in my own marriage, and I don’t want to take for granted that he’s always going to be there. So, even if it’s just for a minute, I stop and say thank you, because he is there when I need him.

I find it easy to think about our relationship while I’m driving. It’s refreshing to think about the many wonderful traits that drew me to my husband. It’s also encouraging to see the man he continues to strive to be, in God’s grace, as he leads our family.

My husband has always been a wonderful listener. There have been many times he’s dropped everything in order to listen and help me work through something. He has also always encouraged me to pursue my dreams and to not “lose” myself in the busy seasons of life. These are just a couple of the traits that I love about my husband.

Maybe take just a moment, while you’re reading this post, to remember some of those traits that first drew you to your spouse.

2. Leave Love Notes

My husband has done this for me a few times over the years. He’ll write notes while he’s at work, or while I’m out somewhere. Then he’ll hide them all over the house. Some will be very easy to find, while others stay hidden for a while. Sometimes he hides the notes in a mug, or under the forks in the utensil drawer. One of my favorite hiding spots was inside a folded pair of socks. The note popped out when I put that pair of socks on.

The notes are nothing spectacular; they are simply short, one-line sentences that remind me of his love. They may be a joke we share, an “I love you,” or any other sweet sentiment. But, the fact that he took time to leave notes reminds me that he was thinking of me.

When I know there are notes hidden around the house, I get pretty excited! I may, in fact, go through all the kitchen cabinets and drawers, on a mission to find as many as possible right away. My husband just stands back and chuckles.

I remember pulling out a bag that had the notes in them. He had no idea I collected and kept them. The look on his face was so sweet when he realized how much those notes meant to me!

>>>> Check out these fun printable love sticky notes.

3. Use Text Messages to Connect

There are days we juggle appointments for the kids, important calls, and school meetings. You know, those days, when you can’t wait to get home and just fall onto the bed and go to sleep. There’s a lot of “hurry up and wait” on days like that.

In those few minutes of down time, though, I’ll often pull out my phone and send my husband a quick note. Sometimes it’s simply, “Sitting at the doctor’s office now.” Other times, though, I’ll refer to one of our favorite jokes or quotes or sayings, just to have that quick, heartfelt connection.

These are also times when I text him to say, “I’m struggling today, please pray for me.” There are times when he texts me the same kind of message. We use these opportunities to send a favorite Scripture, or to remind each other of what we’re specifically praying for. I appreciate those moments of connecting on a spiritual level as well.

>>>> Here are some fun text messages to let the sparks fly between you and your spouse!

4. Speak Your Spouse’s Language

Sometimes the very best thing I can do is to remember my husband’s love language. Showing him love in a way that is meaningful to him, makes a world of difference. This is probably the most intentional thing I do to reconnect with my husband. His love language is one that does not come naturally to me, so I have to really work on this. But the benefits are wonderful! His whole face lights up, he’s reminded that I find worth and value in who he is.

What are some ways you connect in with your spouse during tough times?

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