5 Ways to Make Time for Sexual Intimacy (With Kids at Home)
When you are married with children, it can be difficult to even with kids at home. Although this is a taboo subject, we feel it is necessary to shed light on the fact that married couples often put sexual intimacy on the back burner because they have children living at home. Keep reading for several practical, yet powerful, ways to make time for sexual intimacy (even with kids at home).
5 Ways to Make Time for Sexual Intimacy (With Kids at Home)
1. Clearly communicate sexual needs and desires.
One of the first things we suggest couples do is clearly communicate their needs and desires to one another. It is important that you know and understand what each other expects, especially when it comes to making time for intimacy with kids at home. This also helps take away any pressure of feeling neglected or forced into anything.
There are many ways to approach discussing this subject with your spouse but taking time during a date night (or date day) to discuss matters like this is best. You’ll be able to talk about it without having little (or big) ears around and can genuinely focus on what each other is saying.
Use this time also to formulate some of the suggestions below and put together a game plan to make sure you and your spouse are meeting each other’s needs in the area of sexual intimacy.
2. Be intentional about scheduling time for sexual intimacy.
The day you become a parent is the day you become busier than you’ll ever be in this season of life. That’s why it is important to be intentional about scheduling time of intimacy with your spouse. Fostering your marriage should remain one of the top things on your priority list.
Scheduling time can look several ways:
- Make a note.
- Write it in your planner (in code, of course).
- Set a reminder on your phone.
Regardless of how you choose to schedule this time, be sure to include the day and time block. Make every preparation to make sure you don’t miss this amazing date!
3. Use a unique form of communication.
In addition to scheduling a set day and time, you could also use a form of communication to let your spouse know that you’d be interested in having sex that day. This could look like lighting a candle, leaving a note in your husband’s wallet or your wife’s purse, or sending a text message.
The overall goal is to communicate that you’d like to make it happen at some point in the day. As part of clear communication, make sure you both have in mind how it will happen, especially with kids at home. The next suggestion is a perfect idea for doing just that.
4. Take a shower together.
If you’re worried about your kids walking in on you or pounding on the door, utilize taking a shower (or bath) together. Oftentimes, you can even tell your kids that mom and dad are going to hop in the shower to get cleaned up before dinner (or after, or whenever) and they won’t question what that means or even looks like.
5. Put on a movie for the kids.
Last but not least, another way to make time for sexual intimacy with kids at home is to keep them occupied. Pop in one of your children’s favorite movies, gather their favorite snacks and drinks, and let them know you’re going to use that time to talk.
But don’t leave them hanging. Be sure to set clear expectations and boundaries so you can enjoy the time uninterrupted. Be clear about knocking before entering (lock the door anyways) and give them the only circumstances under which they may interrupt.
Final Thoughts
Making time for sexual intimacy is 100% doable even with kids at home. Fostering this part of your marriage doesn’t have to be awkward and never neglected. Instead, use our practical tips and advice to ensure you continue to thrive in this part of your marriage. As your kids reach developmentally appropriate ages, you can begin discussing this topic with them.
It will be a great tool to help them understand the importance of intimacy in marriage and how it can be done to glorify God.
