A Wife Driven to Desperation

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Many wives are dissatisfied, discouraged, angry, depressed, lost . . . searching, simply waiting out their existence. Misled and desperate.

Desperate for change, fulfillment, love . . . something.

So they turn to things. Another man. An addiction. A secret life. A pit.

A deep, dark, desperate pit.

Are you in that pit? All alone? Ready for change, but still going back to it because that’s where you’re safe? Because hoping for change is harder than pretending it can’t happen? Because protecting your heart is less painful than opening it enough for healing to happen?

A Wife Driven to Desperation :: fulfillingyourvows.com

If that’s you, would you lift your chin just high enough to see that Someone sees you? He sees you bawling your pillow sopping wet, sitting in the dark rocking back and forth, your body racked with sobs.

He sees you. He loves you. He wants to help.

Are you desperate enough to let Him? Are you desperate enough for change that you’d be willing to let Him heal you and change you?

Yes, CHANGE you. Because you are the only one you can change. You can’t change anything about your husband. Not his attitude. Not his mind. Not his words. Not his actions. Nothing.

But God can.

But He wants you to be so desperate for a positive change in your marriage that you will accept His healing touch and allow your heart to be softened enough to minister unconditional love to your husband.

Unconditional love.

The same kind that was shown to you through Jesus.

Are you brave enough to try it?

If so, get on your knees.

Don’t pray for your husband.

Pray for yourself.

Pray like you’ve never prayed before. Pray for a new heart. Pray for a new mind. Pray for a new attitude. Pray to be made like Jesus. Pray for a change. A change in you.

Then, put your faith to action.

Open that Bible and read everything you can about being a wife. Then do what it says.

1. Do not withhold yourself.

Yes, sex really is that important to your husband. In fact, not only is it driven by this God-given need, but it’s also the greatest way a wife can minister to her man.

1 Corinthians 7:4-5 says, “The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband . . . Do not deprive each other . . . so that satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

1 Corinthians 6:20 says you are to “honor God with your body.”

To God, it is honorable for you to not deprive your husband. So, do you think your body is something so great that you should keep it from him? Or will you, standing in faith, use it to build him up according to his needs?

2. Speak kind words.

When he is rude, you can either retreat into your shell, where you can later brew on it and nurse your wound, or you can lash back. Do you think you could say “no” to both of those and do what God says? God says to be kind to those who hurt you.

Proverbs 15:1 ~ A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:18 ~ A hot tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.

Speaking kindly in the face of anger and accusations takes a lot of courage, patience, and faith. But remember, you prayed for changed heart, so you’re already strong enough to stand in your faith and speak patiently in love.

3. Forgive your husband.

Your husband will never fulfill your needs and expectations. He can’t. He’s not God. Expecting him to live up to this impossible demand is frustrating for him and disappointing for you. Let him be human. When you’re disappointed or hurt, run to Jesus. He will strengthen you, fulfill you, encourage you, and love on you.

He knows your pain because you’ve pained Him. Won’t you forgive your husband as Jesus forgives you? Wholly and completely. Again and again.

Matthew 6:14 states, “If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

These are hard things to do. But the same faith that you prayed with for a new heart, is the same faith that will grow up and mature in Christ if you act upon it.

So let your desperation for change in your marriage drive you to the cross. There, you can expect to be changed so much that your husband, too, will find a desperation for change. Minister to him gently and quietly, so that he may be won over by the purity and reverence of your respectable life. (1 Peter 3:1-2)

Read more from the series here…

31 Days to a Better Marraige Series Fall 2014

Kaylene is just a girl….with a sword….a shield….and a strong cup of coffee! I’m a happily-ever-after wife, mom-in-training to three and encourager of women. I genuinely love living my blessed life! You can find me blogging at Faithful Feat and usually socializing on Facebook.

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