How to Protect Your Military Marriage
Protect Your Military Marriage
I haven’t always been a military spouse. As a matter of fact, my husband and I were actually married before he felt compelled to join the military, so I know that a lot of the information in this article will also have some application in non-military marriages.
However, for the purpose of this article, I am going to be addressing military spouses, as there are some struggles unique to our situations that I feel God calling me to speak encouragement into.
As military spouses, there are certain things we must protect our marriages from as we walk a different path than most. I pray that these tips below can help encourage a military spouse out there who feels like her marriage is slowly falling apart. There is hope!
3 Ways to Protect Your Military Marriage
1. Meditate on the Word
My husband joined the military after the tragic events of 9/11. It was a hard decision to make as we had just graduated from our undergraduate studies at the university where we met, bought our first home, and even had our first baby. It wasn’t long after he joined that he was on the ground in Iraq, fighting for our country.
I learned right away that all the fear, stress, and temptation to have anxiety as I waited 12 long months for him to return could only be addressed one way: I had to find Scriptures in the Bible and meditate on them day and night.
I prayed and read my Bible for a few days until God gave me the Scriptures that I needed. And I can tell you after 5+ years of combat deployment separations: God’s Word is true.
Not only did the Scriptures bring me peace, they also provided protection (over my husband as well as the children and I) and joy in the process of waiting.
Was it easy?
No.
Did I always feel like reading the Word and meditating on it’s truth?
No.
But I did it anyway. I encourage you to put all of your feelings aside and begin to find Scriptures to bring you peace in the process of waiting.
2. Speak Life into Your Marriage
Like many other military members who serve in combat, my husband has suffered from PTSD. While his experience is much more mild than most (which I know is ONLY because of God), he still struggles with things that the average person doesn’t even consider. As you can imagine, this has been something that we’ve had to intentionally work through together over time.
If I had only spoken words pertaining to what my eyes were seeing, I would have hurt my husband even more than he was already hurting. I am thankful to God that I was able to continue to speak His life-giving words and I saw the blessing unfold in my marriage. Speaking life can be done through prayer, confession, and simply pleasant and encouraging conversation.
Ladies, if you are experiencing a hardship because of PTSD, please be sure that if your soldier hasn’t already reached out for help, that you encourage him to do so. Without my husband humbling himself, he would have never sought help.
Pray that your husband will submit to God and humble himself to seek the help he needs. Be there for your husband. Remind him that the PTSD he is experiencing as a result of combat is not his fault. Remind him of what a wonderful man he is and how much you love and cherish him.
Through a lot of hard work and dedication, if you are both willing, you can get through this! I am speaking as one who is on the “other side” of it. And God didn’t disappoint. Keep speaking life over your soldier and your marriage. Don’t give up. God will always honor His Word.
3. Be Honest with One Another in Love
I’m sure many of you have heard the phrase: Honesty is the best policy. And it really is. Being honest with one another is a key component to keeping your military marriage strong. It is good to be honest about the good and the bad.
If you are hurting because your soldier is always gone (training, deployments, TDY, etc), then let him know. If you are inspired by his hard work ethic, let him know. It is of equal importance to be honest about the good and the bad of your relationship.
But the most important thing throughout your honest communication process is delivering the message in love. If you are unkind in the way you speak to your husband, he will likely become offended and shut you out. This doesn’t help anyone.
I encourage you to pray before talking to your husband about sensitive issues and allow God to season your words with salt. This will allow your husband time to process what you have told him and is more likely result in peaceful communication between the two of you.
If you take away anything from this article I pray you know that God has equipped you to protect your military marriage. Although we go through some things that 99% of the nation will never understand, there is a way to stay united and in love through the process.
Through a lot of hard work and dedication, if you are both willing, you can get through this! I am speaking as one who is on the “other side” of it. And God didn’t disappoint. Keep speaking life over your soldier and your marriage. Don’t give up. God will always honor His Word.
PTSD Resources:
PTSD Treatment Help for Military Families
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