Be His Eyes

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“I’m very trusting, and you don’t trust enough.”

That was a statement of fact from my husband. I don’t easily trust people.

Its not like I set out not to. It just takes me a moment to figure out if I want to invest in another person and to allow them to see into me.

Sometimes that “lack of trust” has worked in my favor for the benefit of our marriage. Some call it “women’s intuition”. I call it discernment.

“The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:11-12 (NKJV)

“And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Genesis 2:18

We aren’t to use this insight for gainful or selfish reasons, or as a reason to tell our husbands, “I told you so,” but rather to be his other set of eyes and ears.

There have been times in my husband’s business that he’d hire someone to work for him and I’d get a “something isn’t right” in my spirit. Every red flag goes off in me and I usually can’t pinpoint it immediately. I start to become like a mother hen gathering her chicks under-wing to brace for a storm.

In the meantime there are specific steps that I take to protect my husband and my family when I feel an employee is shady.

  • Bring my thoughts about a person to my husband.
  • Leave all decisions up to my husband regarding if he wants to keep them on or dismiss the person.
  • Pray for deeper understanding of the situation and that God Himself would reveal the person’s heart or intent.
  • Guard my doors. Thankfully I have enough influence and my husband trusts me enough to honor my wishes to not let anyone into our home that I don’t deem trustworthy.

Sometimes we find out exactly what I suspected; other times the person simply fades out of our lives. Either way, discernment from the Holy Spirit won out.

There have also been times that I’ve felt this way when it comes to other women being around my husband. Ladies, we know that the radar is really keen in this area!

I’ve never felt threatened or worried about my husband’s loyalty and faithfulness, but I know how to read the body language and gestures of women.

I apply the same steps as above, except the second one. It’s immediately nipped!

Do you see in your marriage where you’ve experienced discernment, or “women’s intuition”? Were you right or wrong? How have you helped your husband navigate it? Do you say, “I told you so,” or rejoice together that an evil plan has been thwarted?

Whenever anyone new comes into your and your husband’s life, ask God for eyes to see and ears to hear. Not for the purpose to be on a “witch hunt,” but to be watchful and discerning.

Not everyone that comes into your life means harm, nor is everyone that comes into your life to develop ties with. Have a gentle and grace-filled spirit but also be in prayer.

FYV 31-Days-to-a-Better-Marriage-Spring-2015-600x600

*Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at

Kela Nellums is an abundantly loved wife, home-educating momma of 6, mom-in-law and blissfully a grandma. Kela is the founder of Pursuing What Is Excellent. She writes about marriage, family, faith and home education. Her favorite things are consuming copious amounts of coffee, reading, singing, playing family games and traveling. Kela can also be found on Facebook, Pinterest , and Twitter.

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