Day 22: I Could Be Wrong
“Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty (snobbish, high-minded, exclusive), but readily adjust yourself to [people, things] and give yourselves to humble tasks. Never overestimate yourself or be wise in your own conceits.” Romans 12:16 (Amplified Version)
One phrase that my husband has started saying before declaring a statement as fact is, “I could be wrong, but…” This means that he recognizes that there could be room for error.
I’ve thought about this as it relates to my relationship with him.
Who doesn’t like to be wrong? There are some that will argue their point into the ground and won’t admit afterward if they’re wrong.
I don’t want to have strife in my marriage. I don’t want to HAVE to be right.
Let’s break down Romans 12:16 as it relates to marriage:
- Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty (snobbish, high minded, exclusive). Harmony is a movement of complementing tones. This can’t happen when there is bitterness and discord. Having to be right causes dissension. “By pride comes nothing but strife.” Prov. 13:10a (NKJV). I can envision noses in the air, fingers wagging, and an ugly scowl on the face. Don’t be that way. It makes a person mean. If you know that you’re absolutely right, do you truly want to throw it in your beloved’s face? A great way to handle it is to wait until the moment passes and come back to it, or better yet…just let it go.
- Never overestimate yourself or be wise in your own conceits. No one likes a know-it-all. Yep. I said it! But isn’t it true? Leave space for your spouse to have some input. Their opinion may actually be of great value and give wonderful insight. Practice yielding the floor. Respect and honor them enough to stop and carefully listen. “…in honor giving preference to one another.” Romans 12:10b (NKJV)
I used to struggle with admitting when I was wrong and apologizing when I insisted that I was right. I’ve learned to trust that my husband wouldn’t lord it over me when I submitted my haughtiness and turned over conceit.
I’m becoming okay with saying the same thing that my husband says, “I could be wrong, but…”
I love how the Bible is so practical in instructing our daily lives and our conduct in relationships. The commandment to love one another is pretty cut and dry. There are no back doors to that.
Christ takes it a step further than just saying to love each other. Philippians 2:1-4 beautifully expresses the need for pure motives and submission.
There is joy to be gained when harmony and humility are present. Don’t give that up so easily just for the sake of having to be right.
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Ok, I’ll admit it…this is SO hard for me. 🙁 I, too, like to be right. I often know what I’m doing and don’t have any problem acting out of my (perceived) knowledge and skill set. HOWEVER, I find myself saying things like, “I’m always right, why are you questioning me?” What God showed me was that I *was* right, yes – but those were only certain situations that I was looking at (situations where I knew I was right). It wasn’t true about *every* situation. I was choosing what to see, rather than seeing the whole picture. This is a tough lesson for me to learn as a Type A personality, but I’m trying. It certainly does cause a lot of strife and leaves the other person (my husband, since we’re talking marriage here) feeling like I’ve kind of beat him down in my decision-making, and that’s not ok either. Thanks for this – a great reminder as I approach sticky situations.
Thanks for this down-to-earth encouragement, Kela. My whole family has the ‘need to be right’ syndrome. Maybe if I take the first step and start working on it, others will follow. I think I’ll start by using your husband’s phrase!
I love this, Kela!! Our job is to love our neighbor (and who is our closest neighbor but our husband?) and trust God take care of the rest!
Thank you all!! Even as I read back over those words, I’ve been “checked”! When the flesh rears its head, its too easy to want to let it have its way before stuffing it back down!! haha!