Be the One He Wants to Be Around

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Be the One He Wants to Be Around

After we win our husbands over and the ring is put on our finger and the “I do’s” are said — the wooing is not over.

Marriage is fun, satisfying, and rewarding, but also work, sacrifice, and humbling. Can I get an amen?

Our men in the beginning were smitten with us — twitterpated, you might call it.

But what happens as time passes, life goes on, routine settles in, and we get comfortable in our roles, schedules, and to-dos?

Often times the wooing has stopped and marriage has just become a partnership of working together, sharing responsibilities, and wading through life together.

But it can be so much more than that.  It is still supposed to be fun.

But that means that we can’t ever stop “marketing ourselves” to our men. Okay, that sounds really bad, but please hear me out on this.

It is our responsibility to be cheerful, kind, and gracious. We have to market ourselves to be enjoyable to be around.

Let’s think about this for a minute. If you are grumpy, distant, and robotic, why would anyone want to spend time around you?

Now, I know husbands have their quirks and responsibilities as well. But let’s only talk about us wives for a minute here. Let’s talk about what is in our control.

Marketing ourselves as someone that our husbands want to be around is in our control.

–A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. (Proverbs 15:13)

Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones. (Proverbs 16:24)

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing,  in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

We must be cheerful, full of affirming words, and joyful.

That sounds like someone I would want to be around. I’m sure my husband would rather be around a wife who is like that.

Please hear me, I’m not saying that as wives we have to be perfect all the time.

But I am saying that we have the responsibility to take control of our attitudes, actions, and overall aura to present ourselves as someone that our men WANT to be around.

Don’t stop wooing your husband. EVER. Continue to be the gal that we wants to be around.

Not too long ago, I was pretty down. There were a lot of things that were causing me stress. I was overwhelmed, tired, and just plain grouchy. It was causing me to be snappy at everyone. I typically avoid people who are like that! But then I started thinking, why would anyone want to be around me if I act like that?

So then I knew it was time to put my big girl panties on and live as God has called me to live. Joyful. Cheerful. Kind. Gracious. Casting cares on HIM.

It IS POSSIBLE to do these things even when you are overwhelmed.

I want to be the wife that my husband wants to be around.

So when you are at home with your family, think about how you are presenting yourself. Are you presenting yourself as someone that a husband would want to be around?

Here are a few simple ways to do just that:

1. Smile!

I know it sounds so cliche’. But really, it does WONDERS for the overall atmosphere in the home. Even if you are frustrated and overwhelmed — SMILE! There is always something to be thankful for.

2. Tell a funny story.

Think of something from your day that was funny. Even if you can’t think of something that is knee-slapping hilarious, share a perspective on something from your day that is lighthearted, quirky, funny, and will bring a laugh or a smile. It is NECESSARY to life!

3. Save the unloading.

I know that at the end of the day we probably have lots of “serious” and “business” things that we need to talk about with our man. BUT — it can wait just a few minutes. When you first see each other in the afternoons, after you’ve both had a full busy day, take the time to practice #1 and #2. Smile and share a laugh!

4. Be lighthearted.

Y’all, life is hard and serious. Life is stressful and overwhelming. There is bad stuff all in the news. There is responsibility every way you turn. So make it a priority to be lighthearted and bring a breath of relief and fresh air to your home.

5. Be interesting.

Have something to share and talk about that is NOT business or kids. Read something interesting, share an original thought, share a perspective. Do something to be interesting. Don’t read too much into this tip. Take it as very surface and not too deep. Just trying to make the point that we must always be building our relationship and continuing to learn and love each other as we age.

6. Give him a joyful and affirming word every day, with a smile, laugh, and thought.

What would you add to this list?

Do you “market” yourself to be someone he wants to be around?

What can your husband do to make you want to be around him?

FYV 31-Days-to-a-Better-Marriage-Spring-2015-600x600

Amanda Farris is a wife to her super hero hunk of a husband and a mother to 3 little kiddos. She is a teacher/coach who hung up her coaching whistle after she got promoted to motherhood. She is a runner who loves all things sports and outdoors. Amanda loves early morning traveling, long coffee chats with her husband, and fresh flowers on her table. She appreciates good puns and analogies and has a great talent of unintentionally becoming over-busy (that’s a bad thing). So she is constantly reevaluating her life priorities which keeps her on her toes and helps her to live life passionately and deliberately. You can find her occasionally blogging at

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