How to Be a Serving Wife

I’ll be completely honest…you don’t have the best marriage you could have, if you are not actively serving your husband.

I know that goes against the culture, our friends, and even our own flesh, but it is absolutely true.

Many people get married and they think about all the ways that marriage and a new husband can benefit them. Am I right?

We think: I won’t have to be alone. I’ll have someone there to fill my needs. Someone to hold me when I cry, someone to be there to encourage me, someone to shower me with their love, someone to sacrifice for me, someone to help me get through hard times.

Our culture has become so me-centered. It’s not just our kids who say, “Gimme, gimme, gimme, me, me, me,” all day long. It’s us, too. But as a godly wife, we must put away our own desires for the needs of another. You already understand that when it comes to kids…

Your 6-month-old baby is lying there crying. What do you do? Most likely, you’re going to pick her up. You hold her, feed her, comfort her; you tend to her needs. It doesn’t matter that you haven’t showered in two days or slept since she was born. 🙂 All that matters is that you meet that need. It’s your inborn desire. You hop to it without even thinking twice!

How to Be a Serving Wife

I want to introduce you to the idea that your husband is very much the same way. No, I’m not saying he’s a crying baby. What I AM SAYING is that he has needs, too. As a wife, do we hop to our feet to meet them without thinking twice? Or do we have this attitude that he can figure it out himself since he’s a big boy–he should be taking care of ME?

That kind of attitude will never lead to a godly marriage.

My husband took off. After 14 years of marriage, one day he asked me to give up God or basically he was gone. Still yet, I said, “NO! I won’t give up God for you or anyone else.” And I didn’t. I can’t tell you that we had a godly marriage, but I CAN tell you that I was a godly wife. I CAN say that he had no complaints in me as a wife even to this day. That he can’t say I didn’t serve him day and night, think of his needs before my own, suffer and sacrifice for him on a daily basis.

You see, in being married to an utterly depraved sinner, he was very good at baiting me. Oh, he loved it. He loved to get my goat and tried daily to make me fall. But the thing is, the more he did it, the more I relied on God and the more Christ-like I became. I learned how to put someone else ahead of myself, even if I was mad at them. Even though his spirit fought mine day and night relentlessly. It was my job to serve him. If you want to know the truth, 2 1/2 years later, the thing I miss most about being married, is the opportunity to serve another person in the context of marriage.

I learned that it doesn’t matter what my husband does or doesn’t do, I have to be strong; I have to be a godly woman. He has to answer to God for his own actions. I can’t let his actions sway mine, because I stand before God for my own. I can’t use him as an excuse to sin, as an excuse to not be a godly woman. Before God, I stand or fall for my own actions. I doubt God is going to take the excuse, “It’s all HIS fault!” Right? We are accountable for our own actions. I can’t get caught up in what my husband is doing or not doing. I can’t wait for him to come around, wait for him to want Christ, wait for him to want ME. God calls women to serve their families, plain and simple, and that is what we must do.

Being married isn’t about us. THIS LIFE…isn’t about US. This life, our lives are about Christ. Pointing others to Him. What better way can you be a light on a hill shining brightly, than to serve someone who doesn’t deserve it?!?! And trust me, none of us do deserve it.

The more you serve your husband, the more you will see their rough sides soften. The more you will genuinely see them start to think about YOU. Even the most callous person can see you genuinely wanting to serve them and more often then not, they will start to serve you back. But even if they never do, you know you stand before God as a godly wife, serving all those you meet.

Jesus, King of King and Lord of Lords, washed His followers’ feet. He set the example then, and you can set the example to all you know now.

Will you serve your husband? Will you consider his needs from a different perspective? Will you commit to meeting his needs above your own? Will you ask God to make you into the woman that He has called you to be?

I stand here waiting for the opportunity that I could serve in such a way that you can TODAY…will you take that opportunity to grow and be more Christ-like?

Guest Post Author:

Sarah is a stay-at-home mom of two wonderful children. From homeless to well-off, this single debt-free mom is most known for her ability to live well on $18k/year. Sarah loves encouraging other women to be godly wives through her biggest lessons in being married to an unsaved man. Follow her blog: Saving Money Never Goes Out of Style.