Have you ever wondered how to make changes in your marriage? You are not alone.

Over the course of our marriage, my husband and I have encountered times where we needed to make changes in our marriage. We faced times of needing to communicate better, parent differently, or deal with a new issue in our marriage. The problem is, I struggle with change. I am a creature of habit and find it very difficult to do things differently. I’ve had to change my perspective, but also find ways to make lasting changes in my marriage.

How to Make Changes in Your Marriage

Cover Your Situation in Prayer

This seems very obvious, but it’s a step I have to take intentionally. I find that I either operate from feelings of anxiety or strong will, but not always inside of God’s will. I have to take time to seek the Lord in prayer, and also to listen to Him.

We are told in Scripture that there will be change. God reminds me of this often when I’m facing a situation where we need to make a change. Not everything is forever, and that is something God has ordained since the beginning of time.

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens…
Ecclesiastes 3:1 

There is nothing better than time in prayer to help me focus and know what my next steps should be.

Make Small Changes 

I do not like change, and I find it hard to make changes. However, I have discovered a way that is less stressful for me.

I can take the big change and break it down to small chunks. I can manage the smaller chunks better than I can manage one big change. This is where the prayer becomes so necessary for me. I need to understand what the big change is, and how to break it down into smaller pieces.

For example, if I want to spend 30 minutes each evening talking to my husband, I will have to change my schedule a bit. Rather than changing everything all at once, though, I can re-evaluate one part of my schedule at a time. Perhaps my kids can help with the evening chores instead of the jobs they do during the day. Or maybe we can adjust the time for piano practice.

Looking at the pieces of what I want to change, rather than just making a big, sweeping change, is going to work better to make a change. It will help the whole family to feel more settled by making smaller changes over time.

Celebrate the Success

Change can be difficult for many of us. Doing something new and different is a challenge and that often causes stress. We can circumvent that, though, by celebrating the successes.

If I look at my example of finding more time to spend with my husband, and I realize that changing my schedule is working, that’s something to be celebrated! We might celebrate with a special family dessert, or special family game time where we can laugh and spend time together. Sometimes we choose a family movie on the weekends when the schedule is a little more relaxed.

But it’s important to celebrate the success, especially when the family is involved. It’s important to thank God for taking us through each step and to honor His faithfulness to us.

One of my favorite verses, when I go through times of change, is from the book of Isaiah.

See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:19

This verse reminds me God always has a plan, and as we follow His plan, He is going to make a way for us!

So if you are looking at changes in your marriage, remember to pray, make small changes, and celebrate your successes! God is going to be with us through every step!

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