How to Honor Your Spouse [even when you don’t feel like it]

If we are being honest with ourselves – there are times in marriage that you simply do not feel like honoring your spouse. While this will vary from marriage to marriage, it is quite simply a challenge that every marriage is faced with.

So what do we do when we don’t feel like honoring our spouse in those oh-so-hard moments when our flesh is rising up?

We honor them anyway!

5 Ways to Honor Your Spouse

1. Take a deep breath and pray. This might seem a bit too simple, but it’s not. This actually presents quite a challenge in the times when disagreements arise. But with a lot of self-discipline and practical application – this one step alone will show your spouse how much you love them.

2. Gently touch your spouse. A soft gentle touch can do so much when someone is angry and hurting. While everyone’s love languages are different, there is something to be said about how physical touch affects the body. Choose to do this wisely as timing is key. God will show you the right time to honor your spouse in this way.

3. Say something nice. Break up the emotion by saying something kind about your spouse. Affirming them with your sincere heartfelt words will show them how much you really care.

4. Don’t pressure your spouse to talk if they are not ready. Some people take a little while to process their feelings and that is okay. If your spouse is this way, honor them by not pushing them to talk until they have had time to gather their own thoughts and process what has happened.

5. Always be quick to apologize. This is another area that may prove to be difficult in your natural mindset. The key is renewing your mind in God’s word about the importance of being humble.

In order to complete the steps above, you will have to commit yourself to reading the Bible and praying every day. We recommend that you do it with your spouse (if they are a fellow believer) to intensify your marriage.

Our 30-day couples devotional, Consecrated Conversations, is a wonderful catalyst to strengthen holy communication in your marriage. This devotional will give you the tools to:

• cultivate healthy communication in marriage
• pray together
• spend time in God’s Word together
• bring you closer to God
• increase your ability to work as a team
• and much more!

If your spouse is not a believer, you should seek out accountability from a Christian friend, church ministry, or Pastor to help keep you on track in this area of your life. Remember to take it one day at a time as change does not happen over night. We highly recommend reading The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Dr. Gary Chapman.

Imagine if both you and your spouse followed the above tips to honor one another in those hard times. It would transform your marriage. While it may not be easy, take a step towards these every time you do not feel like honoring your spouse and you’ll be amazed how God will meet you where you are at and help you change your heart!

Here’s to a happier marriage!